Supporting someone with an Eating Disorder

Recommended do's

•  Educate yourself on eating disorders; learn the jargon

• Learn the differences between facts and myths about  weight, nutrition, and exercise

• Ask what you can do to help

• Listen openly and reflectively

• Be patient and nonjudgmental

• Talk with the person in a kind way when you are calm  and not angry, frustrated, or upset

• Have compassion when the person brings up painful issues about underlying problems

• Let him/her know you only want the best for him/her

• Remind the person that he/she has people who care  and support him/her Suggest professional help in a gentle way

• Offer to go along

• Be flexible and open with your support

• Be honest  Compliment the person’s personality, successes,  and accomplishments

• Encourage all activities suggested by the treating care team, such as keeping appointments and medication compliance

• Encourage social activities that don’t involve food

• Encourage the person to buy foods that he/she will want  to eat (as opposed to only “healthy” foods)

• Help the person to be patient

• Help with the person’s household chores  (e.g., laundry, cleaning) as needed

• Remember: recovery takes time and food may always  be a difficult issue  Remember: recovery work is up to the affected person

• Show care, concern, and understanding

• Ask how he/she is feeling

• Try to be a good role model  Understand that the person is not looking for  attention or pity

Recommended don’ts

•  Accuse or cause feelings of guilt

• Invade privacy and contact the patient’s doctors or others  to check up behind his/her back

• Demand weight changes (even if clinically necessary  for health)

• Insist the person eat every type of food at the table

• Invite the person out for social occasions where the  main focus is food

• Invite the person to go clothes shopping

• Make eating, food, clothes, or appearance the focus of conversation

• Make promises or rules you cannot or will not follow  (e.g., promising not to tell anyone)

• Threaten (e.g., if you do this once more I’ll…)

• Offer more help than you are qualified to give

• Create guilt or place blame on the person

• Put timetables on recovery

• Take the person’s actions personally  Try to change the person’s attitudes about eating or nag  about food

• Try to control the person’s life

• Use scare tactics to get the person into treatment, but do call 000 if you believe the person’s condition is life-threatening